Boy, is it just me or does it seem like we’re just barraged with one holiday after another? Wasn’t it just Christmas? New Year’s? With all those resolutions?
Then comes the Super Bowl and even folks who hate football will party hearty and all those resolutions fly smooth out the window.
Right on its heels comes Valentine’s Day. Forget healthy there! And I’m not talking about chocolate. Chocolate is always good for you. That plethora of antioxidants and all.
But like our Norman Rockwell idea of Thanksgiving and Christmas, we have built Valentine’s Day into a testimony re: if you’re sexy enough, lovable enough, etc. And poor men—few have a clue how to actually navigate these waters.
The far larger problem comes to those, however, who are single. Single! In our culture? There must be something really wrong with you not to find a mate (regardless of the poor statistics about marriages). The pressure is on to be successfully coupled (so you can become consciously uncoupled at some point, a la Gwyneth Paltrow).
I would suggest that a big reason our divorce rate is so high is due to that constant, insistent barrage of images pushing us always not just to date but to co-join in some sort of harmonious pair.
I mean, wait just a doggone minute. You bet—when you’re in your twenties, the biological drives to procreate and nest run the show (whether you’re conscious of that or not). But what about when the fledglings have fledged, the nest dismantled, the hormones thank God! have waned? At least for women. I’m not sure men’s ever do! Why are we still prodded to find a mate?
Especially around Valentine’s Day. While Cupid is one of my favorite mythological characters (oh, such lushness there!), and his mother Venus quite the jealous type, as in all myths, the richness arises when you realize all the characters in the play are parts of yourself.
Gasp! But candy manufacturers, don’t get mad at me. I eat chocolate year-round!
When you’re in the midst of the cultural romance wars, lots of ways exist to navigate how to stay happy, and here are my 3 favs:
1. Buy yourself chocolate. Always! But the point being do for yourself what some fictional paramour would do. No one will ever love you as much as you do. And if you don’t, well, there’s therapy for that J
- Rejoice in your freedom. Yep, we’re so barraged with all things ‘couple,’ we can forget how glorious it is not to have to answer to someone else, romantically speaking. We as humans tend to want what we don’t have. Which brings us more of what we don’t have. Instead, be truly appreciative of the wonders of your life! Isn’t it truly marvelous not have to call and explain why you’re running late because of x or y or z? Not to mention the silent anger when you get home.
Can you see what’s happened to me here? LOL.
- Make a date with a good friend. This adds such vibrancy to our lives at any time. It’s one of my intents this year—to spend more time with people I love. And except for the sexual chemistry (which is luscious!), supper with a friend is, well, often more enriching. Women know how to listen to other women. And women like to feel as though they’re being heard. Enjoy your time with friends!
I do all these things routinely (even when I have said paramour in my life). They make me happy. And I like to be happy.
Teacher Brian Tracey says, “The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.”
Yep. All the sages were right when they said you have to love yourself first. So, spend this Valentine’s Day doing just that, no matter if you’ve been shot with Cupid’s sweet arrow or wounded by it.
What stay-happy quotes do you love?